Day 300: Resolutions
Happy New Year!
I took some reflection time today to look back over 2004. I also took the time to look forward through 2005, keeping in mind that I will spend the majority as a 40 year old man. Things went well enough in 2004, I started it with nothing, felt I gained everything at times and was "on track," only to lose it all again in derailments...and then just as the year was wrapping up I somehow managed to start pulling the disparate pieces into semblance once more.
The best Christmas card I received was from my great friend Tom who said:
"This past year has been filled with successes, Scott. Look back on all you began, all you worke through and all you accomplished with pride."
The nutshell summary goes something like this - I finished a screenplay in January; moved to New York in February for a new job with the dream of becoming a writer; had a great start but AxL got very sick which caused me to quit the job and search for a new one after he recovered; I traveled across the equator to Argentina for work and eventually received a major promotion after just seven months; despite feeling as if I'd never love again after what I call "the LoLo debacle," I fell in love with a girl who I had first seen in Hawaii ten years ago while on vacation, which entailed traveling to the South of France and Monaco to "meet the parents" and also fall in love with the place I will hope to move to next; I moved apartments in July for said strumpet and just as everything in life seemed to be perfect - it all repeated itself in 2003 fashion as I went through "the Elle Debacle" including coming home from a business trip to find a note that we were done - oddly on the same day LoLo had broken up with me the year before; throughout all of this, AxL's kidneys gave out and he received a "one or two days to live" prognosis on September first; I lost love but hung onto the job and the dog - keeping both going strong enough to have what I thought was a balanced life; I learned that balance is a thing to strive for as some absurdities crept in post-Elle, including but not limited to almost killing a couple of drunk assholes outside of a restaurant which resulted in me thinking perhaps I'm "not well" which resulted in me finding out that I'm the inheritor of Bipolar Disorder and must now go through a major regiment change including taking anti-seizure/mood stabilizing medications daily for the rest of my life; in the interim I rediscovered my equestrian passion from childhood and have been taking English riding lessons weekly; I decided to rededicate some time to AxL's Beer Biskit dog treats and seem to be making fantastic headway with two major retailers known as Costco and PetsMart; of course I need something extreme in an otherwise mundane life and as such I've secured a spot in the 2005 Lake Placid Iron Man Triathlon (2.4 mile swim, 112 mile bike, 26.2 mile run) on July 25; on a final note - the big dream of becoming a wrtier was pushed off the banquet table by all of the above.
And so now, with this new year "astart" I find myself bent down on the floor, underwelmed and placing my writing back onto the dropped plate in order to find room for it front and center on the banquet table of my life.
The resolutions? Five is my favorite number and so I am attempting this many achievements in 2005.
1.
Write every day - this will include this journal from daily updates to "backfill" on days missed in 2004 which were many. It will also include finish off the book I've nearly completed regarding my cross-country bike ride which is now two years gone without the garnish of the completed book draft. It will also include working on three screenplays I dabbled on over the year - one about a boy finding a dog that changes his life (no stretch there), one about a guy who moves to New York and starts dating a French girl posing as a fashion model & designer store owner who turns out to be a secret agent chasing Al Qaeda cells trying to take down the whole city (I'm still convinced this is a true story), and finally a story of the struggle two children face after being orphaned due to a jetliner crash and are raised by their grandmother who eventually dies of cancer. As the children reach adulthood and the crash is now thirty years behind them, they discover their grandmother somehow managed to steal a million dollar life insurance policy and give it to two evil uncles when the crash happened and now they have to fight the courts for justice (this
might be a true story as well).
2.
Make A Difference - each day I will attempt to make a positive difference in the world, in someone's life, somehow, some way. From a helping hand to kind words to putting out birdseed when it snows or saving a mouse using a live trap instead of poison...I will leave the world a bit better off because I was here.
3.
GOFIO - this stands for
getting our finances in order which is similar to last year's GOHIO which was
getting our house in order. It will include spending less, investing more and in general terms doing everything I can to keep striving for an earlier rather than a later retirement.
4.
Polish The Diamond - someone once told me that I'm a "diamond in the rough who just needs to polish the rough edges" and I must agree. I learned a lot from Elle regarding the way I lived last year from how I dress to what I eat to keeping the apartment spotless to good grooming to exercise to table manners in the finest restaurants. I found that I made some progress but a "white trash boy" cannot be fixed overnight and so I will continue to refine myself into someone more mature and less "just out of college sitting on milkcrates while eating out of the takeout container while dustbunnies mate and multiply in the apartment's corners."
5.
Goodbye & Hello - somehow AxL made it through 2004 but his days are definitely numbered. I know that at somepoint soon it will be time to finally say goodbye to the furry angel who has been my constant companion for the last thirteen years. I will say goodbye in an appropriate manner when the time comes. I will also take the brave step to say hello to the next phase in my life after this. I'm unable to offer more detail at this point but those details will be forthcoming.
With that, it's time to say Goodbye to the first day of 2005 and Hello to bed.
May the New Year bring all of you hope, joy, health, and prosperity!