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An aspiring writer's tiny existence in New York City while chasing a dream, and hoping that somehow this crazy, random thing called "life" all works out.

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Friday, January 23, 2004

Homesick

In the last few weeks, I've been to Singapore, Malaysia and Thailand. Before now, I didn't even know where they were on the map. Oddly, I've seen a few islands and seascapes that have always been on my "to see" list but didn't realize they were here or that I would see them on this trip.

During this whole time, I've seen incredible sights but also worked very hard on a screenplay. I've written all but the last 10 scenes which I hope to finish today so I can leave. It's a beautiful place to visit, but my soul is dead here. I miss my dogs beyond belief, even though I've seen wild monkeys: macaques and langurs; wild butterflies that defy description, some are as large as small birds. I watched a three foot long monitor lizard eating restaurant garbage which had spilled out of a dumpster. It was like seeing a National Geographic reptile show mixed with some strange comedy about man's pollution. Weird sight to behold.

I've seen cliffs and islands that are amazing, yet I'm empty inside. I'm twelve hours of flying from doing my first "round the world trip" yet I don't care. My bunk is below the anchor chain and I don't sleep at night. It's like trying to sleep in a steel drum while sledge hammers are pounding randomly every few seconds all night long. I should be enjoying myself immensely, yet it's all feeling pointless for some reason. The one thing I'm wishing I could see are the elephants of Thailand. I know they're all about, but I've not seen one yet since I'm "at sea" most of the time or anchored just offshore. Visiting shore is usually a bit of fun for restaurants. They even had a Starbucks in "Patong" a city on the Andaman Coast. Geckos zip about in comical fashion. People try to sell me crap. I don't buy a thing. I just keep writing in my head then return to my laptop to put it down on virtual paper. I can't wait to be done. I'm tan and warm and have lost 20 pounds. I run or swim when I can and my clothes are hanging off of my 175 pound frame. At least I'm not fat. The beaches are covered with fat westerners sporting speedos. It's a vomitable sight, to say the least.

I hope to finish the screenplay today or tomorrow and just grab a flight from Thailand to Singapore to L.A. to Seattle. From there, who knows. I have some huge decisions to make. Overall, life is good, I guess. I've traveled the world and nearly finished writing my first movie. It's probably time to call it a day.