Little Fish, Big River, Bigger City

When I was younger, I always felt that age and experience were overrated. Mainly because I thought I had experience even when I didn't. I also thought I knew it all but now that I'm middle aged, I've learned that until you learn "you don't know it all," you essentially know next to nothing. Luckily when you're young, enthusiasm and optimism outweigh ignorance and therefore much of our youth can be spent in relative bliss. As I've grown older I've become more cynical, less of a dreamer, more experienced and much less optmistic. My mindset has seemed to move from "WOW! THIS IS INCREDIBLE!" to "yea, right...call me when something actually happens." I've gone from counting my chickens (and their heirs) before they hatch to thinking that chickens really don't exist and if they did exist, it's all a conspiracy anyway. So what do I have to look forward to? Well, plenty to tell you the truth, as I've got a Zen Master covered with fur as a teacher extraordinaire. Enter AxL the dog...

The wonderful thing about AxL is that he has taught me so much yet he's never spoken a word to me. He has always taught by supreme example. The best thing in life is just sitting on a beach at sunset. Running is overrated while squirrels are underrated. Sleeping is an art form to be reckoned with and people love the quiet dog full of confidence more than the hyper dog humping their leg. Lastly, experience kicks ass over wild, energetic enthusiasm any day. Enter Venus the new dog...

Now that Venus has settled in a bit after a couple of weeks, I figured it was time to start teaching her some cool stuff, like AxL's favorite game of "GO FIND!" This game consists of hiding little bits of treats all over the house and then yelling, "GO FIND!" At this point, all the dogs involved go on a hunt to gather up all the hidden treasures, much to their delight. AxL has been playing this game for years and years and years. Venus is a rookie but she's got a killer nose and has a top speed of 37 mph as opposed to AxL's top speed of .0037 mph. So who do you think wins this game in round after round? AxL.

"No way!!!" you think to yourself..."yes way!" I tell you. Here's what happens. Even as the treat bag comes out of the cupboard, Venus begins trembling with excitement. Meanwhile, AxL yawns to get more oxygen to his brain cells while conserving all energy to focus on the task at hand. The treats are hidden and the hounds are released. Venus races off, flying around so fast that she's literally bouncing off the walls because she's running at top speed with her nose to the floor, not watching where she's going. She even took down a standing floor lamp last night. She goes so fast that she runs right past most of the treats, hits the far side of the room and then races back to the starting point figuring she missed something. Meanwhile, AxL has methodically plodded along, scanning slowly, left, right, left, right, munch, chomp, gobble, gulp. Venus sees that AxL is eating something so she races back to where he just ate something only to find nothing. Then seeing which direction he's headed, she bolts at top speed, right past him, right past the treats and out the back door. Oops. She u-turns back again and comes flying right back past all the treats, past AxL right to me to ask for help. I tell her, "GO FIND!" and off she goes again. She ends up finding about one or two, sometimes three compared to AxL's chilled out ten or twelve with one one-hundredth of the energy spent. If ever there was the "Old Master and the Grasshopper" personified, it's these two.

So, today proved even more humorous. AxL gets first crack at the food bowl because he needs to down medicine for his aging hips. Meanwhile, Venus is enjoying a rawhide chew on her own. She's sees AxL leaving the food bowl and she races across the room to cash in on what he's left behind. She comes in a bit too fast and she plows right into the water bowl which splashes her and soaks what is left of the food while making an impressive mess on the floor. She quickly gobbles up the food faster than a shop vac before racing back to her rawhide chew.

Wait a minute! Where is the rawhide chew? It's missing. She searches, she sniffs, she spins, she runs, she runs back, she sniffs some more. No rawhide chew toy. I giggle as she looks at me with inquisitive puppy eyes longing for the answer to the mysterious disappearance. As the zenful sound of windchimes waft with the breeze through the open sliding door, they are accompanied by the sound of an old dog, methodically chewing on a rawhide toy in the long grass under the shade tree. Luckily for the Grasshopper, I've got another chew toy for her because I've learned you can't teach an old dog new tricks because old dogs KNOW all the tricks. I watch Venus happily run off to chew away.

And so I sit through another middle-aged afternoon with youth and ignorance behind me. I wait quietly with confident patience for the knowledge and experiences which are ahead of me, still to come. The key is to not race by the treasures in the big game of life called "GO FIND!" Just ask Zen Master AxL...but you'll have to wait for him to get back to you after he's done chewing on the rewards that come with old age.