Little Fish, Big River, Bigger City

Aaaah...VALENTINE'S DAY! The day of love, the day of sweetness, the day of candy hearts and chocolate and roses and, and, and....anyway we all know what it's about, right? So, instead of writing about all the sappy "couple stuff" or all the "things that suck about being single on Valentine's Day" I'm going to write about something we often overlook: Self-Love.

WHOA, THERE!!! SAY WHAT?!?!?!

Yea, that's right people, self-love...the thing almost all of us overlook for the most part. I'm not talking about standing in the mirror admiring my chiseled features, my athletic body and my full head of amazing blond hair that has yet to turn gray or even think about falling out as I approach 38 years old in a couple of weeks. No, I'm talking about just loving who we are, when we are and why we are. I'm talking about taking a break from being overly critical of ourselves just long enough to sit back, take stock and be proud of the things we've done right for a minute, or an hour...heck, take the whole day if you want.

I've received a ton of email over the last couple of months that simply warms my heart and makes me feel good about the path I've chosen in life. It was pointed out to me by an adoring fan that yesterday I was overly critical of myself when I said that I'm "the ultimate procrastinator, the ultimate all-talk and no show kind of guy, the ultimate dreamer and no follow-through dude." Okay, so I was being a tad dramatic and over the top for humor's sake. I actually have followed through on plenty of things including some of those ultimate dreams. In fact, I don't always procrastinate as I'm often a "DO IT NOW" personality which means that I actually procrastinate on procrastination itself. (Now there's a thought, huh?)

In light of my fan's comment, I sat back and took some time to think about what I have achieved, what I have done right, what I am proud of accomplishing so far on this planet. It was a refreshing way to view life so now it's time to reflect, you and me, on all the good stuff. I don't often tell people what they should do or how they should do it but today I will. I'm going to give all of you, my beloved readers, a MISSION!!!! Let's call it "Operation V-Day" to make it fun. So, here's what we're going to do...

We're going to take out a piece of paper, a nice, clean, crisp one and write on it. We're all in this together so don't feel like you're alone on this. It might be tough but it is rewarding and worth it since it's my bet you've never done this before in your entire life. On the top of the piece of paper, write an appropriate title in big, bold letters and underline it. Something like "I DID GOOD" or "I ROCK BECAUSE..."got it? Great! Next, (take your time on this because it's important) start making a list of your proudest moments, your best days, the times you delivered, the times you were out of your league sensational, the times you kept going when you wanted to quit, the awards you've won, the kind things you've done for others, the little and the big. Think about the things that people have said to you that make you warm inside, the big things that you think about that make you believe in yourself when the going gets tough and the little things you do right on a daily basis that make a difference. After we're done, we're going to just sit back and read down our list a few times, then we're going to fold it up and put it someplace where we can pull it out from time to time when we're down on ourselves, when we don't feel like going on, when we feel stupid and worthless and idiotic. To help you out a bit, I'll go right ahead and toss my ego aside for a minute and lay it out some of my stuff here to get us all started.

I, (INSERT YOUR NAME HERE) DID GOOD WHEN...

I made dinner for my 80 year old neighbor Helen and surprised her time after time

I picked up a stray and stinky dog in the middle of nowhere and gave him a loving home

I threw large parties for all of my friends to have fun

I stayed all those extra hours at work to get the job done and done well

I took the time to listen to a friend

I climbed a 14,000 foot mountain for five and a half hours then snowboarded down a virgin slope in 1994

I competed in the 1988 US Figure Skating Nationals to chase a dream of competing in the Olympics

I took the time to take flowers to a friend in the hospital

I started a dog treat business from nothing despite all the road blocks

I took the road less traveled and still do

I was cheerful on the outside even when I wasn't on the inside because the office needed it

I bought three other friends dinner even though I couldn't afford it because I thought it was $150 for all of us, not apiece, when I made the reservation

I took the time to tell certain people how much I appreciated them in heartfelt, handwritten letters

I took the time to say "I'm sorry, I screwed up" when I did screw up

I bicycled across the United States and raised over $10,000 for breast cancer research

I lost 55 pounds in 12 weeks by sticking with a diet and exercise plan

I helped friends move despite an aching back and more pressing things in my life

I got in touch with someone I hadn't spoken to in 11 years

I made the right gift instead of buying the easy gift

I took risks and paid my employees from my own savings when sales were down

I've loaned money to friends who needed it

I stuck to my guns on an issue even when everyone was against me...I turned out to be right

I played basketball with the guys with all my heart even though I sucked because I never played before

I jumped out of an airplane

I got certified in Scuba Diving

I learned to sail and I toured four friends around the Caribbean to see a place they'd never seen

I drove all night long just to get to where I needed to be

I did the crap jobs no one else wanted to do because they needed to get done

I made peace with people I didn't need to make peace with

I gave away things I didn't need

I learned how to cook well

I have stopped often to smell flowers while walking

I have gotten up early just to see the sunrise and I've stayed up late just to watch the meteor showers

I've cried at sunsets

I've swam with dolphins

I biked 200 miles from Seattle to Portland without training twice, once alone and once with friends.

I got up and ran the St. Patty's Day Dash five years in a row no matter how I felt

I have gone the extra mile countless times when I wanted to quit because it was the right thing to do

I've been overly forgiving

I always try to give more than I receive

I've kept a good attitude and the big perspective in life

I say "I Love You" when I mean it

I count my friends as my greatest asset

I skated for 40 hours a week from age 12 to 23 even though I was ridiculed for doing a silly sport in high school and even though it meant I would graduate late from college

I delivered a speech at my Grandma's funeral while breaking down constantly but I made it through.

I've kept jumper cables in my car and helped others with them often

I've kept many promises to myself and others

I won the Amazon.com Broomball Championship once

I received an award at an all-hands meeting at Amazon.com from Jeff Bezos for my contributions, high spirit, enthusiasm and friendship to the company

I was an honor student in High School

I played guitar at the ferry docks even though I only knew one chord. I was thankful my friend, Ed joined me

I took a sick friend flowers and medicine at 10 p.m. even though I had been in bed

I will eat anything just to try it

I make big, hairy goals and go after them often

I tried rescuing a baby pigeon that had fallen out of a tree

I still play with toys for fun

I graduated from college

I turned around to pick up a dog that had been hit by a car and I cried when it died on the way to find a vet

I ran in between speeding cars on a freeway to carry an armadillo to the grass and flowers on the side of the road to die peacefully

I've gently put spiders, flies and bees outside instead of killing them

I've gone 54 hours without sleep just to get the job done

I won a single sculling race by a minute and fourteen seconds after passing six other boats ahead of me

I've planted flowers

I've danced like an idiot but didn't care

I've laughed at myself possibly more than others have

I smile a lot

I've kicked ass on the pool table but I've also shaved my head when I lost the game

I've enjoyed baseball to no end

I learned to waterski on one ski

I took tennis lessons

I played in the school band

I built a radio control sailboat

I never let criticism stop me but I do take it into account if it's valuable

I constantly make new friends while cherishing the old ones

I've flown from Seattle to Miami for a friend's birthday party on a last minute whim

I've worn a velvet leopard print shirt and fake leather pants to the office for fun

I've written poetry and I've painted with watercolors

I never hold a grudge

I learned how to tie flies for fishing and I caught and released fish in perfect Colorado Rivers while just spending time with my dog

I make an effort to continually learn new things

I have cross country skiied at midnight on Christmas Eve under a full moon at Lake Tahoe

I've stayed young at heart

I sold worms and mowed lawns when I was young to make money

I never quit once I've started an athletic endeavor until I'm done...never

I floss my teeth

I live my way

I've learned how to fix almost anything

I accept my many imperfections but don't stop working on improving them

I believe in God and I marvel at the Universe

There, that's a pretty good list for now and hopefully enough to give you some ideas. I sort of have to laugh because to tell you the truth, I was all over my own case yesterday afternoon, feeling like an utter failure in all too many ways but now in retrospect, life ain't so bad. In fact, I'm feeling pretty darn blessed! It's kind of funny since sometimes I feel like I've really done nothing with my life but I guess I've been busy after all, doing some of the above as I gallop through each day. Okay...stop reading, grab that piece of paper and go to it. You deserve it! Oh, and before I forget, Happy Valentine's Day!!!

Here I sit, on the edge of my seat wondering what to write about today. I sit amidst boxes and files to sort through after moving my life south 847.8 miles from Seattle to San Francisco. My dishes from breakfast sit soaking in the sink while I soak my mind with the raindrops dripping from the trees outside that curiously parallel the dripping shower head of my new apartment. I smile inside...no, I'm grinning inside, grinning about life in general...no, grinning inside about my life in general. You see, my life is a paradox, an oxymoron, an irony, a study in contrasts.

I feel like the "J. Peterman" character often portrayed perfectly in Seinfeld episodes. In one of my favorite shows, J. Peterman, the great adventurer and mail order catalog magnate asks Elaine to write his life story. Yea, kind of like what I do here each day as I drizzle something into this online journal. In the episode, Elaine visits J. Peterman's domicile which one would expect to be reflective of his extraoridnairy life. The irony is, it's plain and simple from the grotesquely colored, boring couch to his unadorned walls. As Elaine sets about to interview J. Peterman for the book, he keeps getting off track. He frets over the cable company changing his channels all around on him again. He eyes his dying plant on his coffee table and starts digging for a coupon for plant food. Elaine rolls her eyes in frustration and eventually, the pair decides to purchase stories from Kramer for $12.

So here I am, very much the boring J. Peterman at home while I'm trying to build myself into one of the all-time great adventurer-explorer-authors of our time. I don't have a book out yet, but I have completed my first adventure. The book is going to take awhile because I need to walk to the laundry mat and stuff quarters into slots, clothes into washers and a protein shake into myself. When I'm not writing my first book which is sure to be amazing and garner many awards and accolades, I'm sorting through old love letters from piles on the floor marked "Love Gone Bad: Volume I" and "Love Gone Bad: Volume II." I'm looking through junk mail for coupons for bathroom cleaner and bounce fabric softener. Meanwhile my new backcountry snowboard purchased at a huge discount screams in muffled frustration from inside it's padded carrying case. My bike, "Sisu" sits on my back porch, sprinkled with raindrops as it oozes forth a longing to taste asphalt beneath its puncture proof tires again. An electric guitar stands against a trunk full of childhood memoirs such as my first teddy bear, my first blanket, my first fork and spoon. The guitar is quivering with anticipation to be played to death until we reach the stage of a huge amphitheater packed with adoring, screaming fans once I become a rockstar.

Aah, the things of dreams surround me while the nightmare of domesticity consumes me. Yea, I'm pretty much your average American with unaverage dreams based on a possibly unhealthy view of my personal talents: I think I'm far greater than I am and that I will achieve all these insane things in my lifetime simply because I was able to dream them up and write them on a list. I found that list last night while sorting through old scrapbook items. The list is long and exciting...four pages long...and not a single item is crossed off of it. Oddly, the last thing on the list is "bike across north America."

Whoa...I can CROSS that off now! Yea, that's kind of cool. Despite the laundry, the soaking dishes, the dripping showerhead, I DID do one little thing with my life so far. It's a start, right? Embarassingly, I've announced that I will now write a book about this adventure to most everyone I've met. I've got a good little start on the book and I sent around a couple of emails to potential agents who can help me sell the book. One email came back asking for a proposal. I emailed back asking what a "proposal" was. Obviously, I haven't heard back yet. Intrigued, I looked on the web last night for "book proposal" and found a page chock full of information on how to write a good one. Aaaah...see? Things are possible if you take the time to dig a little.

So what, exactly, is the point I'm trying to make here, you might wonder. Then again you might not, but I'll tell you anyway. My point is, we all have dreams. And most of us are encumbered with the stupidity of mundane chores and earning paychecks. However, no matter how big our dreams are or how many we have or how little real talent or knowledge we actually possess...each of us CAN reach our dreams if we just TRY. It's okay to be bogged down a bit with everyday life. Even the great J. Peterman took the time to dig for a plantfood coupon during his book interview, right? So take the time to "tcb" (take care of business) when you have to but also MAKE the time each day to write your novel, play your rockstar guitar, plan your next big trek, draw the initial sketch of the next Mona Lisa.

All of the great personalities and heroes throughout history were pooping in diapers at one point before dealing with zits as teenagers. As adults, they most likely dealt with the "mundanities" of day to day life as they existed in their own time. It's just that the history books skip over those parts: "after completing his sculpture of David, a tired Michelangelo went home and dusted his bookshelf." Just keep in mind that you can live big AND small at the same time and make it work. Shoot, I only knocked one dumb little trip off of my list so far, but it's knocked off...miraculously...despite me being the ultimate procrastinator, the ultimate all-talk and no show kind of guy, the ultimate dreamer with no follow-through dude. If I can achieve even one tiny thing, I know without a doubt that ANYONE can achieve one tiny thing.

With that, I must go now to vacuum up dog hair and take out the recycling. Then it's time to get back to being almost famous again by working on making my autograph cool looking for when I sign books on my upcoming tour. I'm hoping I'll bump into you along the way...so please have your people contact my people and we'll do lunch...and possibly the dishes, too.

Last night was special for me as a writer as I got to step into a world I've never been in before. I'm constantly looking for characters and personalities to draw from for creativity and I was fortunate enough to walk into a motherlode of people I could not dream up on my own. Yes, this little smalltown hick attended a Versace Fashion Show for their new Spring Lineup. Whoa...Scott at a fashion show? Yea, Scott at a fashion show.

About two weeks ago, LoLo invited me to attend this purported "informal gathering" sponsored by Mercedes Benz to be held at the Versace Store in the Galleria of downtown San Francisco. "Heck yes, I'm going!" was my immediate response. I tried to reduce my stress over the event by ignoring its fast approach since I currently don't even have a pair of dress shoes, at least a pair that I could find. Hours before the event, LoLo gave me advice on what to wear: dark slacks, a simple button down shirt and my black boots should be fine along with an old leather jacket.

As I got ready during the final two hours before the event, I was a mess. I felt like the character in a movie before the big dance at school with only crappy old clothes to wear. I pulled my one pair of dark slacks from a stack of clothes on the floor since I still don't have a proper dresser nor have I taken the time to sort and hang all of my clothes after moving. I also pulled out an extremely rinkled plain gray button down shirt. I located my shoe polish box and set my overly scuffed three year old black boots next to it on the floor.

"C'mon dude, you can pull this off." I reassured myself as I pictured sitting at a white linen table trying to hold my head high while Pierce Brosnan look-alikes and their dates whispered and giggled and pitied me during dinner. I called LoLo again to try and get more reassurance and information so that I wouldn't feel like the fashion failure I know that I am. I'm mainly a failure when it comes to clothing because in so many ways, I just don't care. I'll wear anything, at any time mind you, however I have never put much effort or money into clothing since I don't have one of those power-tie jobs nor do I run with the "in-crowd" where I have to look the part. I tend to get by on jeans, high tops and t-shirts day after day after day.

LoLo assured me that it was just appetizers, no dinner, no runway, no black tie, etc. etc. I searched for an iron to make my shirt presentable but couldn't find it. Luckily, I located my tiny travel iron and I set about pressing my shirt on at towel on my kitchen counter. I held the towel in place with heavy ceramic beer steins as I struggled to remove rinkles from a shirt with a space about twelve inches by twelve inches which served as my ironing board. I set up my travel steamer in the bathroom and it took a full 40 minutes to heat up to where it could start steaming wrinkles out of the slacks I'd worn once in the last year. After I finished the shirt and the slacks as best I could without really knowing how to remove wrinkles from clothing, I sat down on the floor and set to work on the shoes. They came out better than before but they were no where near what I would call "normal" if someone should inspect them closely.

"Get a grip, man...you're an adventurer-slash-writer now, you don't need to be Joe Fancy Clothes. Just be you and you'll be fine." I kept breathing deeply to calm myself. It's funny how different things can cause different reactions in each of us. I had zero qualms about descending an 8,000+ ft. mountain pass on ice and snow on my bike just weeks ago but send me to an event where the "who's who" of society is going to be and I'm a mess inside. It was time. I grabbed my leather jacket off the wall despite the rips on it. I got in my car and drove the two minutes to LoLo's apartment to pick her up.I breathed deeply along the way to relax. I sort of hoped that she would be wearing something simple and plain from work so that I wouldn't feel like the homeless dog being led around by a super model. We've all seen the movies, in fact I just watched "Blue Crush" over the weekend where a surfer girl attends a gathering with pro football players and their bitchy wives and girlfriends who rip her to shreds behind her back while she listens in from a bathroom stall. So, I was about to be in the same position. Or so I thought...

LoLo stepped out of her apartment door and looked fantastic. She was wearing pants with flared bottoms and a wild brown and tan print on them to cover her perfect legs. Her blouse was black with flowing see-through chiffon arms that danced when she moved. Great. She looks incredible and I look like a hillbilly who just jumped off the hay wagon. Oh well, here we go. We drove to the Galleria and valet parked my old car. The valet station was right next to five sparkling Mercedes on a red carpet as part of the event. I may as well have been driving a revamped Partridge Family school bus in comparison. We were greeted at the velvet ropes by overdone hostesses in painful shoes and thick make-up. Men in smart suits with silk ties and perfect, charismatic hair were milling about as we walked into the store. Immediately, I forgot all about how I felt and I just took it all in. Rows of clothing bordering on hilarious with prices to match hung in racks lining the walls. People were dressed in all manners and perfect models stood on tall boxes over the crowd wearing short skirts with rivet holes that necessitated the omission of any form of underwear.

Wow. This is cool. I was offered a large tray of seared ahi cubes on bamboo skewers. LoLo and I made our way to the bar and stood in line to get a blood-orange cosmo and a key lime martini. After getting our drinks, we toasted as best we could in the zero-elbow room crowd. LoLo was stunning and the conversations and personalities that we were swiming through were just as stunning. We were standing in a movie set full of made up actors for a party scene. Women greeted each other with catty smiles and "don't smudge my make-up, dear" cheeky kisses. Gay men, flitted about as their spiky, gelled, cropped, colored hair stayed with them. The male model on the box nearest us asked the female model how he looked. A mannequin wearing black nut-huggers with large silver buckles on the hips made me wonder who on earth would pay $200 for a piece of cloth the size of a napkin to wear against their loins. Meanwhile, my Old Navy palm tree print boxers purchased for $1.99 (on sale) were doing just fine under my steamed slacks.You gotta love a pair of underwear that costs less than a mocha at Starbucks.

I began mentally naming the characters in the crowd since I was seemingly invisible due to my lack of silk, hair gel and eye shadow. There was "Morgue Lady" wearing a heavy black, fake fur coat over a black dress, black nylons, spiky black shoes and a hugely thick black hat with a veil that didn't quite hide her monstrous bug-eyed black rimmed glasses.Her face was as pale as snow while red lipstick struggled to add color to her somber atmosphere. I spotted and named "The Matador and The Skier," a couple who were an oxymoron to themselves. She was wearing a little top somewhat like a jacket and black leather pants that laced up the side of the legs while he wore a white turtleneck and a thick down vest as if he were just transported in from the Lodge at Aspen. Gay men giggled and laughed like school girls while their hair stayed firmly in place. Men with accents and Italian suits dripped money and a hint of pancake makeup for over heavy tans.I love the fact that these perfect looking Adonis men are gay which takes them off of the market for females. I've often said that I wish every other man on the planet were gay except for me. After growing up in the skating world which is mostly gay men, I learned early on that being straight in the right crowd can make you a monopoly.

LoLo and I sipped our drinks and walked through the men's clothing section which was filled with stuff I'd never wear except to a costume party. There was a billowy silk shirt that looked like the wildly painted car in the Austin Power's Movie...pink, orange, peach and lavender swirls lit up the racks amid the dark suits. The models made a change and new models stepped up onto the boxes. The female was a cute and sassy thing with a bright aqua mini skirt and matching top...and I do mean MINI skirt. She chatted and flirted with friends in the crowd while her pretty boy Hollywood male counterpart stood behind her. LoLo and I made bets on whether he was gay or not. I voted "not" and lost when later on in the night he was begging to wear a certain shirt but his director refused because it cost $3,000 and he wasn't worthy of it. I chuckled inside as I wondered if the shirt was worthy of its price tag. LoLo kept commenting how this was just a totally strange world to be in as all the people were so affected, so superficial and so wrapped up in thier conversations of nothingness.

Even though I loved every minute of marveling at the scene which was so entirely foreign to me, we eventually bored enough while our stomachs craved more than mango wrapped in thinly sliced chorizo on a toothpick. We spent fifteen minutes working our way back downstairs and out the door into fresh air. We breathed deeply as we left Sergio and Justin and Stephen, The Matador, The Skier and Morgue Lady in their element. It was time to be normal again so we debated about what to eat on the way home. Fittingly, Jack In The Box won out. We were served our to-go order by a miserable, lifeless soul working in the tough part of downtown amid the homeless, the drug addicts and the mentally unstable. There is something about french fries and Dr. Pepper after an evening of high fashion. I drove while munching away wondering how that world survives, where does the money come from and how does it keep itself in business.

I didn't wonder for long because soon enough I was back with AxL the dog who was more than thrilled to see us no matter what we were wearing or how much or how little it cost. We went back to LoLo's and made hot fudge sundaes while we watched American Idol and voted over the phone for our favorites. When it was over, AxL and I returned home and I worked on a chapter of my book about my bike ride before falling alseep on my therma-rest since I still haven't bought a bed. The truth is, my bedroom is too small for a normal bedframe so I'm going to end up making one on my own and throwing a futon over it. No, I'm not rich nor am I fashionable in the least. However, I am deeply happy in life because I've got a dog who loves me no matter what I'm wearing or how much it cost...and somehow, that's all that matters at the end of the day on Planet Scott which just so happens to be on the opposite side of the univers from Planet Fashion.

Sometimes it's the tiny little observations in life that are the most humorous and therefore the most rewarding. There's not much to write about today of any significance so I'm just going to blindly blather on about banks. Well, at least one small aspect of banks: their telephone cords.

SAY WHAT??? Yea, you heard me, this is about the telephone cords at banks. Only it's so much bigger than that when you think about it. It always is, isn't it? As the story goes, our hero (that would be AxL the Dog) is at the local branch of his bank moving the address on his account from Seattle to San Francisco. While the bank's smartly dressed representative takes care of the necessary phone calls to make the much needed address change, our hero's sidekick (that would be me) notices that the banks' smartly dressed representative is leaning over his phone to talk into the handset because the cord is so tangled. At one point, the sidekick needs to talk into the phone so the bank's "SDR" has to lift the entire phone console up and pull the wall cord out from under a rolling file cabinet so that the sidekick can then bend over the desk to talk into the handset. You see where this is headed, don't you?

After the call and a few thank you's, our hero (AxL) nudges the sidekick (me) and the sidekick clears his throat.

The bank's SDR looks up while the sidekick explains, "Um, I can fix that phone cord for you."

"You mean I don't have to put in a PO request to buy a new one??" the SDR seems totally perplexed.

"Um, no, you just unplug it and it will unwind and then you're all set. No, no...not from the wall, unplug the handset...yea, there you go." The hero and sidekick grin as they see the look of sheer amazement spread across the SDR's face.

"Wow. I don't have to buy another one! I'm going to tell everyone here about this. Who woulda thunk it?"

"Yea, who woulda thunk it?" the sidekick responds. With that, our hero and sidekick go about their day now that their all important bank statements will be arriving in a timely manner to the correct address. Fast Forward >>>>> to the next morning aka today. The sidekick is in another neighborhood running errands and buying a mocha. There just so happens to be a Starbucks inside of the Wells Fargo Branch on the intersection of Van Ness and California. And it just so happens that after getting a mocha, the sidekick says hello to the Wells Fargo SDR on a whim. At that precise moment, the sidekick notices that "WHOA - this guy's phone is just as bad as that other guy's phone!!!"

"You know, you can fix that phone cord by just unplugging it at the handset and letting it unwind a bit." The sidekick offers.

"You mean I don't have to buy a new one? Well............wow......that is just SOOO cool!!!" The SDR is overcome with simply joy as our sidekick grins and jets off to the next errand. Which brings me to the wrap up of this little story.

First, it's kind of cool how you can be in two different banks in just 24 hours and fix the same problem. Second, it's really just too weird that both banks commented that they were delighted that they didn't have to buy a new phone cord now. Third, it's even more weird to think that possibly 1,000's of banks and 10's of 1,000's of business nationwide, nay worldwide, are simply chucking out tangled phone cords and buying new ones when all they need to do is unplug the handset and let the cord unwind. Are you still with me? Here's the big thought from the little story - how many times in my life, or you in your life have chucked your proverbial phone cord when all you had to do was unplug it and unwind it a bit? How many problems have I faced thinking that the only solution is to chuck it and take on something new when I didn't have to? I shudder to think about it. So now, when I'm looking at some problem, anything really, I'm going to ask myself if I can just take a new perspective on things by unplugging the handset, unwinding the tangled part and then plugging it back in. I can't really blame the SDR's for their ignorance. I know that I've struggled with excel spreadsheets only to have a co-worker "right-click" on a cell to make it work right. Ooops. Yea, we all get so myopic on something that we often think that the only solution is something HUGE like a purchase order with a VP's signature on it followed by a four to six week shipping process and culminated with a technician's installation when really, that's all totally unnecessary. With that, it's time for this sidekick to follow the hero about and see what else we can conquer. Until next time, just remember the tiny solution: unplug, unwind, plug back in. Just get new perspective, not new phone cords. You dig?

Hard to believe that February is off and racing away and here I am with yet another Monday half over. I feel as if the same boxes are piled up right where I put them when I moved in about three weeks ago, the same papers need to be sorted, filed or shredded, the same piles of clothing still need to go to the laundry mat down the street, etc. etc. Each day I wake up and each day I go to sleep wondering just what in the heck I'm doing with my life.

Then, I received word that my friend Eugene "Sweet Weegie" Wei is living large in New Zealand on a 3 month leave from work. Here's a guy, probably the most unassuming guy you could ever meet, yet he lives this incredible life. He's probably the smartest guy at Amazon.com, the hardest working, the nicest, etc. He drives a hot BMW convertible, he's got the world's largest dvd collection, he's brilliant in every sense of the word, he can throw down 3 pointers on the court as if he were tossing stones into a pond and he's hardly seen without a smile. So, I read through his weblog on his site today and find out that he's having the time of his life, climbing glaciers, going on jetboats, dropping into caves, scuba diving, bungee jumping, sky diving, sailing on super yachts and holding beach parties for people he's just met.

So how on earth did this guy take my dream life and run away with it as I sit here among address forwarding forms, new phone installation confirmation number scribbles and a pile of laundry that would scare off any maid service from signing me as a new account? I have no idea. I just know he's living THE life. On the flip side, one has to view this young man as pure inspiration, through and through. Oddly, in all the years I've known him I've never heard a comment regarding him from anyone unless it was positive. Okay, so now and then we all call him "a bastard" but that's only because we're all jealous of the bastard. Oops...there I go again. (Forgive me for using the generally accepted American Male Term of endearment on this generally "Rated - G" site.)

So, in being inspired by this better than Hollywood character I've set about in a fury of crossing the little garbage off my to do list so that I can concentrate fully on the book about my recent bike ride. The faster I get it done, the faster I can get out on the road for the next adventure, right? If there is one thing I do know about "Weegie" is that once he's done with this traveling he's doing, his life won't be the same. He's going to go home and wish he was still going somehow.

That's the thing about taking on an adventure and living "the dream." Once you taste it, it's addictive. Think of it like a party. Picture the best party you've ever been to in your entire life. You wish it didn't end, you laughed, you danced, you made friends, you lived outside of bills, laundry, work deadlines and all the mundane stuff like Cinderella at the ball. But oh no, you left behind your glass slipper and you want it back even though the evening ended and you have now woken up to the reality of scrubbing floors on your hands and knees again. Okay, so I'm all over the map on this post considering I don't even know where my compass is in this mess now that I'm back into domesticity. I'm just going to keep rambling for a second and ask for forgiveness since it's a Monday and all.

Now where was I? Oh, right, Cinderella! One of the things I like to do is think about Disney movies and the messages they contain. No, not the main message, the hidden message. Let's take Cinderella vs. Belle from "Beauty and The Beast." While Cinderella rocks with her fairy tale story and the whole someday my prince may come thing. Let's imagine that instead of a prince, we're waiting for our life to come and take us away from evil stepsisters (corporate america and every day chores???) So, Cinderella has her evening but she DEPENDS on this Prince finding her again. Okay, so it works out because Prince Charming takes it upon himself to go to every chick in the ville and try this darn glass slipper on until he finds the perfect fit. Well, let me tell you something people, it ain't like that all the time in real life. Sure, here and there it might happen, but for the most part, there isn't some Prince Charming Dream Patrol scouring your neighborhood with a big fat dream check that has your name on it. Nope, you've got to go out on your own and go after it.

Which brings me back to Belle. This is why she's my fav Disney heroine. She got sick and tired of reading about adventure as she lived her provincial life. Thusly, (cool word for a Monday, huh?) she went out in search of her father, come what may, beast or no beast. I think that's how we need to live. You just gotta step out that door and go after it, come what may. Sure, you may encounter beasts along the way...but what are our own personal beasts, really? The things we fear. I would tend to say that as humans we have a few basic fears: death, failure and rejection. Sure, there are more but you can probably boil them down to these three somehow. We fear doing daring things because we might die and if we don't die, we might fail and if we fail we might be rejected by those around us. Hhmmm...deep thought, huh?

But now let's just flip this over as if we were lying on some perfect beach in perfect weather, much like Weegie is doing right now. Even if we sit in our comfortable, safe, day to day boring life we still die at some point, right? So why fear that? When it's your time, it's your time and you're not going to get around it. That's one thing I learned on the road. Be smart about your risks and danger and then just trust that when your time comes, you're toast and there's nothing you can do about it but accept it like a hero and go down fighting as hard as you can. Okay, so death aside what's the deal with failure and rejection? Not much.

I've noticed that every time I've tried something and failed in life, the good people are still right there and instead of rejecting me, they usually end up dusting me off and putting right back on the horse to try again. Think about it. When have you ever failed big time at chasing a dream where someone who you care about, someone you respect, someone who has a good soul hasn't been there to support you when the dust settles? Hhhmmm...again. Right? The ones who love us simply don't leave because we dared and failed. Nope, the good ones stick by you, failure or success. So what does that mean? It means that we may as well go out and GO BIG after our dreams because the stuff we fear like death, failure and rejection simply don't matter. When it's your time, it's your time and until then the good people will always be there for you in failure or success and in fact if you don't fail to see who sticks around, you might not even be able to tell the good people from the "bandwagon" people who will only cheer you if you're successful.

Case in point: The Columbia Space Shuttle. Read last weeks headlines on the magazine stand...each headline was talking about these heroes and how successful and important the entire space program is overall. Except Newsweek...they ran the subtitle "Not Again!"

Yea, that's how I feel about Newsweek..."not again." Why on earth would someone print that??? Newsweek printed a cover which fully exemplifies the type of attitude that we should dump should one of our acquaintances say stuff like that about us. Who wants to attempt something great, something stunningly incredible like flying in outer space for God's sake, only to have a friend of ours say "not again" should something go wrong? Not me. I want the friends who say "bravo, three cheers, keep going, you'll get there if you just keep believing and keep trying."

With that, I've got some daily chores to get out of the way so that I can make way in my life for going after some more dreams soon...and I hope that maybe reading this got some of your wheels turning, too. If so, we all owe a big thank you to Weegie for being the bold one out there living large. May we all find success in our own way, in our own time and may none of us ever make the cover of Newsweek.