Wednesday, January 25, 2006
Day 708: The Map of Mayhem
I figure it's time to stop. My days are racing by without any coherent strategy and as such, they slip away like ripples on a river under the bridge of life between the shores of where I am and where I hope to be.
Today I decided to press the "pause" button on life and look around for a minute or twenty. I pull out a list of "lifetime goals" and I look at a list of "current projects." Hours fly by, and minutes disappear into the ether behind me and it's my little way of just grabbing a moment to take stock and then move forward.
I'm of course, writing about it all here from the double angle of getting things down concretely for myself as well as hoping that it helps others do the same.
First and foremost, I hope that I make the world better daily by my existence. In combination with that, I hope to experience and see and achieve a few things along the way so that when the end of my days are slapping me in the face they are colorful, bright, full of wonder, and full of non-regrets.
As such, I've employed a personal "life/success coach." Part of me thinks this is sheer buffoonery while another part of me realizes that in any endeavor where I've gotten further than I had ever hoped, a coach of some sort has been one of the key factors.
I had my first "virtual session" with my "coach" a few days ago and since then have pondered the effects this has had on my life in order to determine if I should continue or not. My guess is that like me, you're probably wondering "what on earth" while also wondering "does it really help you get any where?"
I figure that one thing I can do with this little journal is be a "guinea pig" for others by trying things and reporting them so that others can then judge for themselves on the merits of similar endeavors. So, let's get down to it here.
First, I had to lay out on paper, where I am now, what I've done that has been considered a "success" and the areas I'd like to "improve." I also laid out where I want to go, what I'm doing now, and where I rank myself across 12 different areas of life from friendships to career to personal growth to health. True to my bipolar nature, I found myself to be either at 1 or at a 10, opposite ends of the spectrum, depending on the area in question.
What did I learn? Life is about BALANCE. If nothing else, I'm need to at least take some of the 10's and apply that "energy and time and effort" to the 1's and try to achieve some 5's across the board. From there, I can gently increase everything to a 6, a 7, an 8 and so on until I'm achieving 10's everywhere.
So what do my days look like now? In short, we all have 24 hours to work with. I spend around 16 of those on various work projects, 4 of the rest on various personal items, and another 4 on sleep. Lack of balance equals a whack of balance. I might feel like I'm getting ahead, but really, I'm doing nothing more than digging holes of deficit by being out of balance.
You'd think it's obvious but when you're "in it" you don't really see all this clearly until you stop and take a step back to consider. Ah. Okay then...time to balance out a bit - I'm not exercising in the least and I'm working so long each day that I become "unproductive" and "ineffective" and that rolls over into the next day and the next and the next to where I'm really just sliding further and further down a slippery slope of inefficient efforts.
Enter the success/life coach and accountability - where do I wish to improve? What are the five key things I'll get done in the next two weeks before the next call? What are the items I'm going to list on my daily online schedule which we'll both read over regarding time spent on what?
Suddenly, I see the mayhem, I see the imbalances, I see where I can adjust, and I strive for the goals in several areas rather than burning out one section. Guinea pig time. So what has changed since the call and the new direction? I laid out what's on my plate and decided what gets my time for two weeks. I added in things to my daily routine while subtracting others in order to balance out the days more. I've found that the less hours I spend at work, the more focused I become on doing what needs to get done in less time. I've discovered that while I THOUGHT I was getting a lot done by throwing a ton of hours into something, I'm actually able to do MORE by throwing less time at it and giving tasks a hard cut-off time. I've learned that by taking "time out" to just relax and do nothing more than watch a movie, or read, or write used to feel like time away from work, I now feel as if I'm spreading out my hours across all areas of life which are equally important for balance.
So, while this might be my 2nd most boring journal entry ever, I also feel that it's one of my most important since life is about growing in many areas instead of just one or two. I'm now sleeping 8 hours a night instead of 4. I'm now striving to exercise daily instead of not at all. I'm now eating 3 meals a day instead of 1. I'm now working 9 hours a day instead of 16. I'm now relaxing for at least 3 hours a day instead of 1, and I'm now writing daily instead of not at all. In the end, everything gets done and it all gets done on a more equal basis. I've found that my "to do" list is organized in a way that the most important and largest items get taken care of first and then they are "out of the way" for the other items that used to "roadblock" the bigger things. I used to operate from the stand point of getting all the little things done before I could even start the big things, but if you can relate at all - so many little things continually pop up that the big things NEVER get started or finished. Now they are done and behind me and the little things are more easily taken care of as a result.
Yea, yea, yea...blah blah blah...
Totally logical.
But are you completely satisfied and happy in life? If you are, great. If you're not, maybe it's time to just hit "pause" and write down where you are, where you would like to be, what you spend your time doing now and what you would LIKE to spend your time doing. From there, simply work toward adding time into your daily and weekly routine toward the things you want to do while pulling some time away from the things that are less important that you know are eating up your hours and blocking the the other areas of your life?
Again, I fully admit this is probably the lamest post of all time, or at least the 2nd lamest post - but perhaps, for someone, even one person, it might strike home and their life improves as a result.
If that happens - I'll have reached two small goals - taking the time to write today as well as helping make the world a better place in some miniscule way. As such - I feel I'm often writing to a "brick wall" as I know that not many people read this. So feel free to drop me a line and tell me if this stuff helps, or if I'm just wearing out my keyboard for no reason.
Or...if you really are "out there" and feel like having a "success/life" coach of your own to help you get to your goals, let me know and I can refer you and would love to do so. At least then I won't feel like the only odd duck out here swimming in the pond of mayhem.
I figure it's time to stop. My days are racing by without any coherent strategy and as such, they slip away like ripples on a river under the bridge of life between the shores of where I am and where I hope to be.
Today I decided to press the "pause" button on life and look around for a minute or twenty. I pull out a list of "lifetime goals" and I look at a list of "current projects." Hours fly by, and minutes disappear into the ether behind me and it's my little way of just grabbing a moment to take stock and then move forward.
I'm of course, writing about it all here from the double angle of getting things down concretely for myself as well as hoping that it helps others do the same.
First and foremost, I hope that I make the world better daily by my existence. In combination with that, I hope to experience and see and achieve a few things along the way so that when the end of my days are slapping me in the face they are colorful, bright, full of wonder, and full of non-regrets.
As such, I've employed a personal "life/success coach." Part of me thinks this is sheer buffoonery while another part of me realizes that in any endeavor where I've gotten further than I had ever hoped, a coach of some sort has been one of the key factors.
I had my first "virtual session" with my "coach" a few days ago and since then have pondered the effects this has had on my life in order to determine if I should continue or not. My guess is that like me, you're probably wondering "what on earth" while also wondering "does it really help you get any where?"
I figure that one thing I can do with this little journal is be a "guinea pig" for others by trying things and reporting them so that others can then judge for themselves on the merits of similar endeavors. So, let's get down to it here.
First, I had to lay out on paper, where I am now, what I've done that has been considered a "success" and the areas I'd like to "improve." I also laid out where I want to go, what I'm doing now, and where I rank myself across 12 different areas of life from friendships to career to personal growth to health. True to my bipolar nature, I found myself to be either at 1 or at a 10, opposite ends of the spectrum, depending on the area in question.
What did I learn? Life is about BALANCE. If nothing else, I'm need to at least take some of the 10's and apply that "energy and time and effort" to the 1's and try to achieve some 5's across the board. From there, I can gently increase everything to a 6, a 7, an 8 and so on until I'm achieving 10's everywhere.
So what do my days look like now? In short, we all have 24 hours to work with. I spend around 16 of those on various work projects, 4 of the rest on various personal items, and another 4 on sleep. Lack of balance equals a whack of balance. I might feel like I'm getting ahead, but really, I'm doing nothing more than digging holes of deficit by being out of balance.
You'd think it's obvious but when you're "in it" you don't really see all this clearly until you stop and take a step back to consider. Ah. Okay then...time to balance out a bit - I'm not exercising in the least and I'm working so long each day that I become "unproductive" and "ineffective" and that rolls over into the next day and the next and the next to where I'm really just sliding further and further down a slippery slope of inefficient efforts.
Enter the success/life coach and accountability - where do I wish to improve? What are the five key things I'll get done in the next two weeks before the next call? What are the items I'm going to list on my daily online schedule which we'll both read over regarding time spent on what?
Suddenly, I see the mayhem, I see the imbalances, I see where I can adjust, and I strive for the goals in several areas rather than burning out one section. Guinea pig time. So what has changed since the call and the new direction? I laid out what's on my plate and decided what gets my time for two weeks. I added in things to my daily routine while subtracting others in order to balance out the days more. I've found that the less hours I spend at work, the more focused I become on doing what needs to get done in less time. I've discovered that while I THOUGHT I was getting a lot done by throwing a ton of hours into something, I'm actually able to do MORE by throwing less time at it and giving tasks a hard cut-off time. I've learned that by taking "time out" to just relax and do nothing more than watch a movie, or read, or write used to feel like time away from work, I now feel as if I'm spreading out my hours across all areas of life which are equally important for balance.
So, while this might be my 2nd most boring journal entry ever, I also feel that it's one of my most important since life is about growing in many areas instead of just one or two. I'm now sleeping 8 hours a night instead of 4. I'm now striving to exercise daily instead of not at all. I'm now eating 3 meals a day instead of 1. I'm now working 9 hours a day instead of 16. I'm now relaxing for at least 3 hours a day instead of 1, and I'm now writing daily instead of not at all. In the end, everything gets done and it all gets done on a more equal basis. I've found that my "to do" list is organized in a way that the most important and largest items get taken care of first and then they are "out of the way" for the other items that used to "roadblock" the bigger things. I used to operate from the stand point of getting all the little things done before I could even start the big things, but if you can relate at all - so many little things continually pop up that the big things NEVER get started or finished. Now they are done and behind me and the little things are more easily taken care of as a result.
Yea, yea, yea...blah blah blah...
Totally logical.
But are you completely satisfied and happy in life? If you are, great. If you're not, maybe it's time to just hit "pause" and write down where you are, where you would like to be, what you spend your time doing now and what you would LIKE to spend your time doing. From there, simply work toward adding time into your daily and weekly routine toward the things you want to do while pulling some time away from the things that are less important that you know are eating up your hours and blocking the the other areas of your life?
Again, I fully admit this is probably the lamest post of all time, or at least the 2nd lamest post - but perhaps, for someone, even one person, it might strike home and their life improves as a result.
If that happens - I'll have reached two small goals - taking the time to write today as well as helping make the world a better place in some miniscule way. As such - I feel I'm often writing to a "brick wall" as I know that not many people read this. So feel free to drop me a line and tell me if this stuff helps, or if I'm just wearing out my keyboard for no reason.
Or...if you really are "out there" and feel like having a "success/life" coach of your own to help you get to your goals, let me know and I can refer you and would love to do so. At least then I won't feel like the only odd duck out here swimming in the pond of mayhem.
Tuesday, January 24, 2006
Day 707: Aw, rats!
I'm sitting on the bench in front of Jack's Coffee, sipping a cup of decaf while doing a bit of "people watching" and catching twenty minutes of fresh air. It's a normal, perfect day and no excitement or anything out of the ordinary is on any horizon.
"He's just sitting there like a dog in broad daylight, yea, didn't even move when I went by..." the young, blonde exclaims into her cell phone, "yea, a RAT! Just sitting there!!"
I think nothing of it at all. Of course, what do you expect? It's New York and my guess is the rats outnumber the people if you don't count the commuters. Rats are as much a part of the nightly landscape as birds are part of they daytime landscape. I do find it interesting though that a rat was hanging out in broad daylight. I let my brain move on to the next subject and begin walking toward home...my 20 minute break is over.
"I can't believe, the f___ker has no fear at all!!!" another man is on HIS cell phone telling someone, "yea, just sitting in the middle of the sidewalk hanging out as if it owned the entire street! It's unbelieveable."
I notice that this guy had actually looped outside of the parked cars on the street to give the sidewalk owning, fearless, sitting like a dog rat a very wide berth. Now my curiosity is perking up and straight ahead I see the commotion causing rodent. Sure enough, there is a rat, a small one though, right in the middle of the sidewalk. People are walking past it without even noticing it and sure enough, the rat isn't even attempting to scurry off at all. Like an about to happen disaster scene from a movie, an older lady with one of those little wheeled collapsable carts is heading right toward the rat in what is sure to be a very ugly mess in the very near future.
I pick up my pace and get between her and the little, out of whack rat. I simply turn my back to the approaching lady and put my heels together in a little "V" shape to offer the rat some protection as well as to prevent any possibly nasty reaction it might inflict on the lady's ankles should she mow it down with her cart. The lady goes past and is actually a bit on the understanding side.
I tell her I think the rat's been poisoned and is suffering and I'm just going to take care of it somehow and get it off the street for everyone's saftey. Really, all I care about is the fact that here is a small brown piece of fur which is having a lot of trouble walking at all and tears are streaming out of its eyes. She actually appears to be a girl from a physical standpoint which doesn't require explanation if you've ever seen rats in a petstore. I gently "scuffle" her with my show out of the middle of the sidewalk to the brick wall of the building nearby.
She's not looking good at all and it can only be the result of poisoning. I can't take it, and I start to just walk away figuring she'll eventually die there or wander off to someplace else. Then I can't take just walking away and I turn back. Finding a shoebox next to a garbage can, I do the unthinkable as passersby take me to be a lunatic of some sort. I bend down, open the flip out lid to the shoe box and set the box open-sided toward little Miss Rat. She seems to be more than thankful for the safe haven and she drags herself into the soft tissue paper inside as she tucks herself into a corner.
That was easy.
I close the lid to the box and I now have a dying, poisoned rat in a shoebox under my arm. Happy Tuesday. I walk home and try to figure out what to do next. Is she saveable? Having something die on me, including house plants just doesn't sit well with me, but I know she's pretty far gone. I open the lid to observe her. She seems to look back at me with thankful, brown eyes. She's breathing fairly hard, but she's not aggressive or scared in any way. I take a bit of swiss cheese and a small bottle lid filled with water and place it in the box with her. She eagerly goes for the cheese and begins to nibble. it doesn't take long however before she simply loses energy and semi-collapses onto the chunk of cheese with her chin as she continues to breathe rapidly. I close the lid and say a little prayer that she'll just go soon. It's 2:17 p.m.
An hour passes, I check on her, not much of a change. She's still crying from her eyes. She's still breathing, she still softly regards me. I check every hour after that. I wish something would change - for worse or better - this middle ground is purgatory for both of us and I'm sure probably much more difficult for her.
7:30 p.m. I've now spent just over five hours with this little life in a shoebox sitting on the staircase in my apartment with a flower pot on top in the event she instantly recovers and decides to bust on out and come after me in a post-poison rage. I think to myself that I'm being really ridiculous. First for picking her up, second for putting the flower pot on top of the shoebox. I decide to check on her one more time. My heart breaks a little more as I open the box - she's now flattened out as if she'd been dropped from a tree - all legs are splayed outward from her body. She's still crying, still breathing heavily. Okay, clearly she's on her way out. I just wish it would go quickly for her. A friend and I were talking on the phone a moment ago and he told me to put her out of her misery and I asked him how? A hammer? A kitchen knife? Really, I'm not going to be able to do anything of the sort...
As I gaze at her wondering what on earth I could do to help, I'm overcome with wondering what on earth rat fur feels like. What the heck, she's not going to bite me and I'll just wash my hands afterward. I reach down into the box and stroke the fur on the top of her head, down her neck and back softly. Not much different than any of the rabbits I had as a kid. I personally think that rats simply have bad marketing firms handling their account. Sure, everyone loves ladybugs, chipmunks, etc. but no way on rats, worms, or cockroaches. Squirrels and pigeons lie somewhere in between depending on who your parents were and how much fear they fed you for breakfast: "squirrels are just rats with bushy tails!" or "pigeons are just rats with wings!!!"
I continue to stroke her fur and her eyes gently close at my touch but her breathing continues. I tell her that it's okay to go, she's off the street and no one is going to step on her. I tell her that she can just let go and sleep now and there will be a ginormous garbage pile waiting for her on the other side. A few more gentle words and I close the lid quietly. I wash my hands and oddly, I don't get sick, or die despite the fact that I can now add "touched a live New York City rat (probably one covered with poison!)" to my list of "things I've done in life that others probably wouldn't do." It's one of my favorite lists to keep, by the way. Of course, I don't like it as much as I like the "things others have done that scare me to death but I kind of want to try anyway" list.
I head back to my computer and do a bit more work on whatever it is that I do for work in any given moment. I really can't concentrate after seeing her in the "fallen out of a tree" splayed out mode. Thirty minutes go by, it's about 8:05 and I take the flower pot off the box and open the lid one more time.
No breathing.
i sigh deeply, sad but relieved that this life has finally moved on and the suffering has stopped. I will now spend the next twenty-four hours wondering "what on earth?" in the back of my mind as I try to figure out if I'm just really insane that I can't bear to see an animal dying and have to try and give it comfort. I doubt any other New Yorker, or at least anyone I've known in my life would pick up a poisoned rat off the street with a shoebox to offer some final, peaceful hours. Or maybe I'm not crazy - I'm just following my rules and not allowing societal norms dictate how I treat another living being.
I guess I prefer the latter and as such, I always seem to sleep like a rock. I think that each of us has to live according to our own rules but too often, we can end up living in reaction to how others treat us, or what they tell us, or what we read, rather than simply following our own hearts and living according to how we feel and what feels right.
My good friend Ross once told me that the litmus test one can always use in business and in most any life situation is to just do a "gut check" - you're going to know, deep down if what you're doing is right or wrong and if you just follow that and be totally honest and upright, you'll never have to check yourself or try to cover anything or change your story. You can just live on a much higher level and be above the fray where others are trying to step on you or kick you off the sidewalk.
I guess that living according to our own rules and following what our hearts know to be true is a little bit like being picked up in a shoebox and carried off to someplace where you can live out your time, knowing you're not going to be harmed. It's safe, warm, free from worry, and a very nice place to be.
I'm sitting on the bench in front of Jack's Coffee, sipping a cup of decaf while doing a bit of "people watching" and catching twenty minutes of fresh air. It's a normal, perfect day and no excitement or anything out of the ordinary is on any horizon.
"He's just sitting there like a dog in broad daylight, yea, didn't even move when I went by..." the young, blonde exclaims into her cell phone, "yea, a RAT! Just sitting there!!"
I think nothing of it at all. Of course, what do you expect? It's New York and my guess is the rats outnumber the people if you don't count the commuters. Rats are as much a part of the nightly landscape as birds are part of they daytime landscape. I do find it interesting though that a rat was hanging out in broad daylight. I let my brain move on to the next subject and begin walking toward home...my 20 minute break is over.
"I can't believe, the f___ker has no fear at all!!!" another man is on HIS cell phone telling someone, "yea, just sitting in the middle of the sidewalk hanging out as if it owned the entire street! It's unbelieveable."
I notice that this guy had actually looped outside of the parked cars on the street to give the sidewalk owning, fearless, sitting like a dog rat a very wide berth. Now my curiosity is perking up and straight ahead I see the commotion causing rodent. Sure enough, there is a rat, a small one though, right in the middle of the sidewalk. People are walking past it without even noticing it and sure enough, the rat isn't even attempting to scurry off at all. Like an about to happen disaster scene from a movie, an older lady with one of those little wheeled collapsable carts is heading right toward the rat in what is sure to be a very ugly mess in the very near future.
I pick up my pace and get between her and the little, out of whack rat. I simply turn my back to the approaching lady and put my heels together in a little "V" shape to offer the rat some protection as well as to prevent any possibly nasty reaction it might inflict on the lady's ankles should she mow it down with her cart. The lady goes past and is actually a bit on the understanding side.
I tell her I think the rat's been poisoned and is suffering and I'm just going to take care of it somehow and get it off the street for everyone's saftey. Really, all I care about is the fact that here is a small brown piece of fur which is having a lot of trouble walking at all and tears are streaming out of its eyes. She actually appears to be a girl from a physical standpoint which doesn't require explanation if you've ever seen rats in a petstore. I gently "scuffle" her with my show out of the middle of the sidewalk to the brick wall of the building nearby.
She's not looking good at all and it can only be the result of poisoning. I can't take it, and I start to just walk away figuring she'll eventually die there or wander off to someplace else. Then I can't take just walking away and I turn back. Finding a shoebox next to a garbage can, I do the unthinkable as passersby take me to be a lunatic of some sort. I bend down, open the flip out lid to the shoe box and set the box open-sided toward little Miss Rat. She seems to be more than thankful for the safe haven and she drags herself into the soft tissue paper inside as she tucks herself into a corner.
That was easy.
I close the lid to the box and I now have a dying, poisoned rat in a shoebox under my arm. Happy Tuesday. I walk home and try to figure out what to do next. Is she saveable? Having something die on me, including house plants just doesn't sit well with me, but I know she's pretty far gone. I open the lid to observe her. She seems to look back at me with thankful, brown eyes. She's breathing fairly hard, but she's not aggressive or scared in any way. I take a bit of swiss cheese and a small bottle lid filled with water and place it in the box with her. She eagerly goes for the cheese and begins to nibble. it doesn't take long however before she simply loses energy and semi-collapses onto the chunk of cheese with her chin as she continues to breathe rapidly. I close the lid and say a little prayer that she'll just go soon. It's 2:17 p.m.
An hour passes, I check on her, not much of a change. She's still crying from her eyes. She's still breathing, she still softly regards me. I check every hour after that. I wish something would change - for worse or better - this middle ground is purgatory for both of us and I'm sure probably much more difficult for her.
7:30 p.m. I've now spent just over five hours with this little life in a shoebox sitting on the staircase in my apartment with a flower pot on top in the event she instantly recovers and decides to bust on out and come after me in a post-poison rage. I think to myself that I'm being really ridiculous. First for picking her up, second for putting the flower pot on top of the shoebox. I decide to check on her one more time. My heart breaks a little more as I open the box - she's now flattened out as if she'd been dropped from a tree - all legs are splayed outward from her body. She's still crying, still breathing heavily. Okay, clearly she's on her way out. I just wish it would go quickly for her. A friend and I were talking on the phone a moment ago and he told me to put her out of her misery and I asked him how? A hammer? A kitchen knife? Really, I'm not going to be able to do anything of the sort...
As I gaze at her wondering what on earth I could do to help, I'm overcome with wondering what on earth rat fur feels like. What the heck, she's not going to bite me and I'll just wash my hands afterward. I reach down into the box and stroke the fur on the top of her head, down her neck and back softly. Not much different than any of the rabbits I had as a kid. I personally think that rats simply have bad marketing firms handling their account. Sure, everyone loves ladybugs, chipmunks, etc. but no way on rats, worms, or cockroaches. Squirrels and pigeons lie somewhere in between depending on who your parents were and how much fear they fed you for breakfast: "squirrels are just rats with bushy tails!" or "pigeons are just rats with wings!!!"
I continue to stroke her fur and her eyes gently close at my touch but her breathing continues. I tell her that it's okay to go, she's off the street and no one is going to step on her. I tell her that she can just let go and sleep now and there will be a ginormous garbage pile waiting for her on the other side. A few more gentle words and I close the lid quietly. I wash my hands and oddly, I don't get sick, or die despite the fact that I can now add "touched a live New York City rat (probably one covered with poison!)" to my list of "things I've done in life that others probably wouldn't do." It's one of my favorite lists to keep, by the way. Of course, I don't like it as much as I like the "things others have done that scare me to death but I kind of want to try anyway" list.
I head back to my computer and do a bit more work on whatever it is that I do for work in any given moment. I really can't concentrate after seeing her in the "fallen out of a tree" splayed out mode. Thirty minutes go by, it's about 8:05 and I take the flower pot off the box and open the lid one more time.
No breathing.
i sigh deeply, sad but relieved that this life has finally moved on and the suffering has stopped. I will now spend the next twenty-four hours wondering "what on earth?" in the back of my mind as I try to figure out if I'm just really insane that I can't bear to see an animal dying and have to try and give it comfort. I doubt any other New Yorker, or at least anyone I've known in my life would pick up a poisoned rat off the street with a shoebox to offer some final, peaceful hours. Or maybe I'm not crazy - I'm just following my rules and not allowing societal norms dictate how I treat another living being.
I guess I prefer the latter and as such, I always seem to sleep like a rock. I think that each of us has to live according to our own rules but too often, we can end up living in reaction to how others treat us, or what they tell us, or what we read, rather than simply following our own hearts and living according to how we feel and what feels right.
My good friend Ross once told me that the litmus test one can always use in business and in most any life situation is to just do a "gut check" - you're going to know, deep down if what you're doing is right or wrong and if you just follow that and be totally honest and upright, you'll never have to check yourself or try to cover anything or change your story. You can just live on a much higher level and be above the fray where others are trying to step on you or kick you off the sidewalk.
I guess that living according to our own rules and following what our hearts know to be true is a little bit like being picked up in a shoebox and carried off to someplace where you can live out your time, knowing you're not going to be harmed. It's safe, warm, free from worry, and a very nice place to be.
Monday, January 23, 2006
Day 706: The Mirror
I enjoy looking for ways to learn and grow in some way each day. I also enjoy putting them down in this journal in hopes that as I learn from others, that I can pass it along to those who may read this. I've also found that in writing things here, it helps me clarify and solidify the lessons life brings and hopefully at some point, I'll be able to look back on this reflect on things which I felt were important enough to put down in writing.
Speaking of reflection, I heard an interesting concept recently that really made me think twice, then three times. I was told about a theory that whenever we criticize or applaud others, what we may actually be doing is reflecting things that we don't like or do like within ourselves as our distastes and tastes are usually personal.
Hmmm.
Over the past year, I felt I've grown a lot from many of the books I read. I came to realize that one of the most important things is to simply accept ourselves as we are and be happy in that while working on things we would like to improve upon while also continuing to improve the areas where we are currently satisfied. I thought about times where I have been critical of others or have "pointed a finger" regarding the actions and words of others. As my grandma used to say, "whenever you point a finger at someone else, you're pointing four others back at yourself." We can all point a finger at someone in criticism or in praise, but what if in doing this, we took the time to see how this is simply a reflection of our own feelings, beliefs, criticisms, aspirations, dreams, goals, and hopes about ourselves?
It's easy to just run down my list of heroes and friends that I admire and realize that I admire them because I aspire to be like them for the same reasons I look up to them. It's more difficult, but just as important (if not more) to think about those I've criticized in the past for one reason or another and then find that those criticisms relate to how I feel inside about myself more than how I actually feel toward the actions or words of another. When I start to learn this lesson, I learn to be more accepting of myself and then it's more than easy to accept others as they are.
Blah, blah, blah...basic stuff, who cares?
Okay, so far I'm just repeating learnings from others here. But I'd like to take it one step further in that I feel lessons are important if you can actually apply them in new ways.
Now I'm not sure if this is somewhat of an original thought or not, but what if we simply thought of ourselves as mirrors for others and turned this all around? What if every time we received criticism or praise, instead of taking offense or getting upset or feeling "too" good about compliments, instead we simply think, "it's okay...what this person is really doing or saying toward me is nothing more than exposing how they truly feel about themselves."
Sure, no one is perfect and when we're criticized (or praised) there's nothing wrong with taking a moment to reflect on it. Rather then getting defensive (or egotistical) I've found that it's easy to simply decide from there if it's something I wish to actually change about myself or not. If it is, I make a note to simply try and do better in that area. If it's not something I wish to change, I can just say that it's nothing more then the other person venting or praising something about themselves go about my day.
So, this might be my most boring post ever, but I think it was such a good advice that I really wanted to get it down in writing for myself and hope that others can get something out of it in the process. If not, cool. If so, great...
Time to go floss in the mirror and reflect on the day now...
I enjoy looking for ways to learn and grow in some way each day. I also enjoy putting them down in this journal in hopes that as I learn from others, that I can pass it along to those who may read this. I've also found that in writing things here, it helps me clarify and solidify the lessons life brings and hopefully at some point, I'll be able to look back on this reflect on things which I felt were important enough to put down in writing.
Speaking of reflection, I heard an interesting concept recently that really made me think twice, then three times. I was told about a theory that whenever we criticize or applaud others, what we may actually be doing is reflecting things that we don't like or do like within ourselves as our distastes and tastes are usually personal.
Hmmm.
Over the past year, I felt I've grown a lot from many of the books I read. I came to realize that one of the most important things is to simply accept ourselves as we are and be happy in that while working on things we would like to improve upon while also continuing to improve the areas where we are currently satisfied. I thought about times where I have been critical of others or have "pointed a finger" regarding the actions and words of others. As my grandma used to say, "whenever you point a finger at someone else, you're pointing four others back at yourself." We can all point a finger at someone in criticism or in praise, but what if in doing this, we took the time to see how this is simply a reflection of our own feelings, beliefs, criticisms, aspirations, dreams, goals, and hopes about ourselves?
It's easy to just run down my list of heroes and friends that I admire and realize that I admire them because I aspire to be like them for the same reasons I look up to them. It's more difficult, but just as important (if not more) to think about those I've criticized in the past for one reason or another and then find that those criticisms relate to how I feel inside about myself more than how I actually feel toward the actions or words of another. When I start to learn this lesson, I learn to be more accepting of myself and then it's more than easy to accept others as they are.
Blah, blah, blah...basic stuff, who cares?
Okay, so far I'm just repeating learnings from others here. But I'd like to take it one step further in that I feel lessons are important if you can actually apply them in new ways.
Now I'm not sure if this is somewhat of an original thought or not, but what if we simply thought of ourselves as mirrors for others and turned this all around? What if every time we received criticism or praise, instead of taking offense or getting upset or feeling "too" good about compliments, instead we simply think, "it's okay...what this person is really doing or saying toward me is nothing more than exposing how they truly feel about themselves."
Sure, no one is perfect and when we're criticized (or praised) there's nothing wrong with taking a moment to reflect on it. Rather then getting defensive (or egotistical) I've found that it's easy to simply decide from there if it's something I wish to actually change about myself or not. If it is, I make a note to simply try and do better in that area. If it's not something I wish to change, I can just say that it's nothing more then the other person venting or praising something about themselves go about my day.
So, this might be my most boring post ever, but I think it was such a good advice that I really wanted to get it down in writing for myself and hope that others can get something out of it in the process. If not, cool. If so, great...
Time to go floss in the mirror and reflect on the day now...
Sunday, January 22, 2006
Day 705: Little Stores, Big CityMy geat friend, Tom, takes amazing photographs. He won't admit it to anyone, even himself, and he insists that they are nothing compared to other photographers out there. It's okay, because what really matters is that he shares them with me and they inspire me constantly in many ways.
One such photo he named, "Optimism." It's the picture above: a lone, gnarled but thriving tree growing bravely out of a crack in otherwise solid rock in the desert of Arches National Park.
The past few weeks, I've been taking note of some of the little stores around the Village here and can't help but admire their creative pluck and success despite their square footage shortcomings. Since real estate is such a precious commodity in this city, shops have been somehow inserted into nothing more than tiny triangular spaces where buildings didn't quite match up on either side. Some of them hold nothing more than a chair and two walls which complete the triangle from the door's base. Other's are just a single wall behind a roll up garage door set into the corner of a building.
As such, I've been mulling over writing about each little shop in some fashion and so tonight, decided to step into the most alluing one - Chez Brigitte - a tiny eleven seat restaurant at 77 Greenwich St. between 7th & 8th Ave's. Their take-out menu boasts:
"Chez Brigitte will serve 250 persons 11 at a time."
The kitchen is a four burner gas range, an oven, and a small counter top and sink. There are two dining counter beset with red vinyl stools. If you're wearing a heavy winter jacket, you may not be able to easily turn around for exiting so you need to be careful to slide inside while facing the counter to place your order.
The menu boasts everything from Gigot D'Agneau (Roast Leg Of Lamb) to Perrier (Fancy Fizzy Water in a green bottle). Everything is tres Francais, however it the proprietors are of Hispanic origin. Never mind though because there's a story a bit further down here. The place is awesome and unique, itty-bitty but old and bold, and it's home cooking for those who don't have the time or desire to actually cook at home.
I ordered the spaghetti with champignons (mushrooms) for $8 as I'm currently on a budget and this is cheaper than I could buy spaghetti, sauce, and mushrooms at the grocery store. (It's faster, too.) I received a lovely little meal in just five minutes along with a coffee cup full of salad including cucumber, carrot, and tomato slices. A nice chunk of french bread lightly toasted rounded out this evening's feast.
The dessert I enjoyed was the history of Chez Brigitte on the take-out menu, reprinted from the New York Times, Sunday, October 23, 1994 edition:
"Sad, Lost, Sweet Memories: Bidding Adieu to Brigitte of Chez Brigitte"
Chez Brigittehas become something of a Greenwich Village legend. A tiny French bistro with a short order twist where dishes like Boeuf Bourguignon cost less than $8 and are served across a faded yellow counter top to customers seated on red swivel stools.
Until she retired to Florida about a decade ago, Brigitte Catapano, a native of Marseilles who founded the restaurant in 1958, was just as well known. "Everybody in the neighborhood knew her," said Rosa Santos, who worked for Mrs. Catapano for 22 years and now owns Chez Brigitte. "She was a very special person. She was like family to me."
Mrs. Catapano died of a heart attack in August. She was 75 and had been living in Fort Lauderdale with her daughter. A memorial service was held earlier this month at St. Joseph's Church on Sixth Avenue.
Meanwhile the restaurant has continued to thrive under Mrs. Santos. At lunch and dinner times, the tiny restaurant is nearly always filled. (A faded sign on the wall advertises seating for 250 persons, 11 at one time.) The menu inclues Omelets, Sandwiches, Pasta, and a variety of Fish, Poultry, and Meat entrees.
"In the 10 years I have been coming here, it has always been the same," said a customer who works at St. Vincent's Hospital, across the street.
"Everything always tastes home cooked. It tastes like your grandmother made it."
The lesson I learned tonight: you don't have to be the biggest to be the best, you just have to give your best and people will love you for that alone.